That Time I Met Chuck...

I needed Zachary Levi's autograph. I've had this Chuck poster on my wall for like 5 years and something made me decide that it's time.

Yes, this is a screenshot from Amazon...
I didn't think to take a photo of my wall
before taking my poster down.

And no, I didn't just randomly feel the need for this one poster to be autographed, I have a wall-of-fame where I display all of my autographs from over the years. Including the people no one's heard of...

That Time I Made A Temporary Bad Decision...

I got a tattoo! Okay, not really.

I've been wanting to get a tattoo for a long time and just haven't committed yet. I've had it drawn up for years. But it's going to hurt and be expensive and of course permanent. So I have to decide if I really want it FOREVER...

That Time I Was A Grubhub Driver...

Well... sort of.

So, about a year ago I was watching Shameless and there was an episode where one of the characters was fake-uber driving but more importantly he was doing it with his girlfriend in the passenger seat. And I thought "well I might be interested in Uber driving again if Husband and I could do it together in our spare time." But you can't because that seat has to be available for passengers...

That Time I Ate The Most Stuf...

I was at the supermarket and I saw THESE:

That's right. For a limited time, you can enjoy these "Most Stuf" Oreos...

That Time I Painted an Exploding Tardis...

A couple of my friends really liked the idea of paint night, but not the cost. They'd actually been once, but didn't want to spend the money again.

Source: scribbleartworkshop.com

They just wanted to drink wine and paint! They volunteered to host the event and I brought over all my paints and some canvases I already had that were not going to get used ever probably any time soon...

That Time My Childhood Was Ruined by Celeste Pizza...

You wouldn't think that a $.99 pizza would be able to ruin my childhood, but it's true.

I was at the grocery store, late at night trying to find a snack for Husband that wasn't expensive and used minimal plastic. I spotted the Celeste Pizzas and told Husband to get one.

HE HAD NEVER HAD ONE. I was shocked. Maybe it was not that common of a food, but I had a ton of these when I was growing up because they're cheap and, frankly, delicious...

That Time I Tried to Get My Umbrella Back...

Remember when I used to hate taking the bus? Me too. But since then, I watched a documentary about a guy who wanted to lower his carbon footprint to zero, and my employer has an option to get a hugely subsidized community-bus pass, resulting in buses being my primary mode of transportation.

So I was on the bus, and about 10 minutes after I got off for a dentist appointment, I realized I'd left my umbrella on it...

That Time I Ate Mall Sushi...

Husband and I were driving across Pennsylvania and decided we wanted to stop and do something fun along our route.

We were near Harrisburg, so I thought there might be a Dave & Busters, and hat we could play arcade games for an hour, like grown-ups....

That Time I Tried to Be A Spy...

About a year ago I became obsessed with the TV show Chuck. Seriously, it's so good. Go watch the whole thing on Prime Video immediately. I had watched most of it when it was actually being broadcast but since I hadn't seen it all, I started watching it straight through, back to back, over and over and over. (Stop judging it was mostly in the background. 

But that's not how this story started.

So one of my jobs is serving at at banquet venue. You know, weddings, parties, conference lunches, etc. And sometimes, for certain events, there is just nothing to do.  And if anyone sees me just standing around it looks bad because they don't know there's nothing to do. So I am always seeking out hiding spaces.

One of the hiding spaces I thought about a number of times was in the rolling bars aka the giant hunk of plastic that is used to serve alcohol in usually empty rooms.

They have big sections for putting supplies that could totally fit a person, the main question was just whether it would be comfortable or not. And then the concern about using this spot as a hiding space, is what would happen if someone comes into the room while I'm hiding and doesn't leave?

So on one of these days when one of the bars was being used in a function room, and I wasn't the person bartending, I felt it was time to find out.

So I crawled in and determined it was not all that uncomfortable. If I was shorter it would be more comfortable, but If was was just looking to sit down for 5 minutes it was great!

So I was chillin' (yes, "chillin'") for a couple minutes, chatting with the guy who was bartending that day, when one of our co-workers walked in the room.

My options were to weirdly pop up out of nowhere or to wait until she left. I thought "it's just Olga, she'll be gone in a minute," so I chose to wait rather than explain the weird thing I was doing.

But then she stayed. And she stayed, and she stayed, and she stayed. Then some more people walked in and joined her conversation with Billy.

It was un-cramped enough that I was only somewhat uncomfortable, but cramped enough that I felt like I couldn't move at all without attracting attention. This means I couldn't get my phone out of my apron to have something to entertain me while I accidentally eavesdropped on the conversation, so all I had was a wine opener to fiddle with for the nearly 30 minutes before they all left. They had been there so long that after they finally left, Billy said that he had actually started to forget I was there at some point.

For the record, incase anyone was wondering, no, there wasn't anything I over heard that I shouldn't have.

After the first 10 minutes of sitting there, I remembered the episode of Chuck where Sarah stows away on an airplane by hiding in a large piece of luggage. It of course looked uncomfortable for her when she snuck out of the bag but I never thought about the part where she was scrunched up for hours waiting. That was how it felt to be in the compartment of the bar. And I only did it for 30 minutes!

When I first got in I said "I could totally be a spy!" When I finally got out, I determined "I could never be a spy!" In a previous story, I already determined that I would be terrible at stakeouts. I also hate guns. So as much as I want to be exactly like Sarah Walker, I think I'll have to stick to video editing.

Needless to say, I have not used the bars as hiding spots since.

The Price of Free Coffee

I worked in an office that had coffee available around the clock. But it shouldn't have been. I will drink almost any quality of coffee but this was intolerable.

My first work around was instead to drink tea. It just wasn't the same.

Next I tried getting a travel mug/coffee press in one and bring in my own coffee. I had remembered seeing them at Starbucks years ago. Would have been great but far too much of the grounds escaped the plunger and made it un drinkable.

Success came with my idea to find a single serving coffee press along with a mug to drink from. So expansion of my 2nd plan but far more effective.

It also enabled me to make one trip to the kitchen per cup of coffee since I would wait till it was brewed, then clean my coffee press before returning to my desk. The mug/press required returning to the kitchen to clean it before the end of the day. I'm far to forgetful to have been able to bring it to and from work with me each day.

That Time When Someone Prejudged Me On the Internet

This weekend I'm driving down to MD to hang out with Kirsti for the weekend since she's all gonna be in MD for three weeks. W00t!

A couple of my friends jumped at the chance to join me so I booked a hotel room for all us. Then they both discovered they can't really go. So I asked Kirsti if I could just stay w/ her (she said yes) but since maybe her roommate would be uncomfortable about it, I went on airbnb.com and found a place nearby that was cheapish but only 6$ cheaper than the hotel room I booked so I emailed her asking if she'd lower her price.

I neglected to go into depth about my reason for stay and just said I was visting my friend and would rather not stay with "her and her roommates (I didn't feel like explaining that it was one and was a hotel room and everything else)." I also offered lower than I wanted to pay thinking she understood how to haggle.


Here is her response:

"Hi Lauren,
Thank you for your interest in staying with us. We enjoy hosting people who desire a homestay experience. It sounds like you are looking for a place to crash. Perhaps it would be better for you to stay with your friend and her roommates. Best wishes! ~g"

 

I'm sure I shouldn't have but I did anyway, my response: "28 year olds don't "crash." We're going to be sightseeing all weekend, not drinking like I'm sure you assumed. Sorry I didn't specify that she's staying in a hotel with roommates while she's on a study abroad trip from Australia. And sorry I just figured if I could get a hotel for $54 through an organization I'm part of, it's not worth the $6 less to stay farther away and was hoping for something cheaper since I'm on my own and then you could also get more than the zero you'll be getting by not putting me up. But thanks for saying no without even making a counter offer OR saying your prices are firm and you'd be interested in having me if I would pay them. Thanks anyway I'll be looking elsewhere."

Well fine biotch, I will make better use of my $82 (I offered $35/night plus there's a $12 airbnb fee), even though I wouldn't have ended up staying there anyway.

That Time I Wore High Heels...

When you live in a college town and don't have gray hair and wrinkles yet,  you are destined to have every person you encounter think that you are a student. Especially when you start working at the University.

Today there's some big dedication hulabalo where I work so I dressed extra nice.

Zomg not wearing my skirt!

I also just got new shoes that I wanted to wear but feared that my "commute" from where I have to park to the building I work in would not agree with them, so I chose to carry my shoes and wear flip flops.

I'm on the bus and at the first stop after I've gotten on, some dude gets on and ends up sitting next to me. So I am sitting there wearing black pants, an oxford shirt, computer bag on my lap and 3" heels (which, at time of writing, were giving me about 5,000 blisters btw) in my hands.

He "cleverly?" asks me if they are dance shoes.  And I was like  "um what? No, they're just hard to walk in...how do they look like dance shoes?"

Which is true. For some unknown reason they have felt on the ball of the shoe. Presumably to make them either less slippery, or so that it's easily apparent once they've been worn so they won't be in a returnable condition.

Then he started going on about his dance partner having to "not only have to learn to walk in heels, but at the same time how to walk backwards in heels."

I started at him blankly and then realized he meant cause girls tend to move backwards when dancing.

And I thought the conversation was over. I wondered what the chances were that a) he was not a student/age appropriate for me, 2) he didn't think I was a student, and 3) if he thought this line of questioning was working to impress me.

Then his last ditch effort in his hitting on me:

Yup. Even dressed as nice/grown-up looking as possible, it's not cause I work here, it's cause I'm a student with a presentation.

Then he got off the bus silently. At least he thought I was cute.

Dude.

I keep thinking that it's time to take down my tree but then become too lazy to actually do it. I'm starting to fear that it's pissing off my roommate and that I better do it ASAP.

He probably doesn't even notice it.

The Janket

I know the topical humor in this is a few years late, but I'm okay with it.

Cartooning

Well I really wanted to post today but I really don't feel like doing any pictures for it. So I decided to compromise with myself and this is what you're getting....





There once was a girl named Lauren. One day  her friend Nicki had a birthday coming up. She was making the Facebook event for it and Lauren offered to provide her with the event photo for it. It looked like this:

Nicki likes pirates.

The party was going to be pirate themed...

A week or so later Lauren's other friend Kylie decided that she wanted a new avatar for Twitter and stuff and asked Lauren if she would make it for her. Lauren agreed and Kylie's avatar looks like this:

Kylie likes to read.

Lauren also has a friend named Stacey who's birthday is today! Lauren wanted to wish Stacey a happy birthday here and on Facebook so she made Stacey this:

Yeah I reuse stuff a lot. Sue me.

Lauren spent today (or like an hour tops) making Kylie's avatar and Stacey's birthday cartoon so she didn't feel like doing any more Photoshopping for an additional post so she decided to just post some of these already made pictures instead.

Also Lauren thinks that you should check out all of her friends blogs by clicking the links in this post (though Lauren doesn't know if Stacey's going to start blogging again anytime soon). And P.S. Happy belated b-day to Nicki!

Preview

This is very rough but here's a preview of (500) Days of Autumn. So far I like it! I don't always like stuff I make so that's saying a lot.And don't ask about the leaves in the corner... like I said, this is rough.

Inspiration came from the guy who made this:

(500 Days of) Autumn

Well I don't really have a story for today but I do have something to post. I was watching (500 Days of) Summer and if you haven't seen it, you won't get this but I thought it would be awesome if there was a sequel "(500 Days of) Autumn. "So I started working on a stop-motion video for the "sequel" and here is a teaser image for it.

So yes. It's a metaphor.

I know it's not that exciting, it's a tree, but I wanted to show it off due to the amount of time I spent on it.

Sports World

A few years ago a few work friends and I decided that we all needed to get together outside of work and do something super fun. We decided that we should go miniature golfing. When rain was forecasted for the day we all had off Bob came up with another option. Sports World. At Sports World, which I was just learning about,  there are arcade games, batting cages, bumper cars and best of all, indoor miniature golf! It sounded perfect. 

We loaded up Bob's car. He *thought* he remembered where it was and how to get there. So off we went.

Yayyyy! Sports World!!!

We drove for a while, looking for it along the road, until we determined that we passed it or went the wrong way. 

Where could it be? :(

We stopped somewhere so that Bob could call someone and ask where it is. Chelsea and I went into the Starbucks and got some yummy frapuccinos so that the day wouldn't be wasted.

We changed seats when we made the stop.

Bob got the location and we got back on the road. Back the way we came. We scoured the buildings we passed for the elusive sports world. After going up and down the Rt. 46 a couple of times we found it! It was literally a hole in the ground. Bulldozed to the ground and cleared away. 

Pile of dirt where Sports World used to be.

Sad and defeated, we cut our losses and headed to a restaurant for an early dinner. On the way there we saw some other places we could have gone instead.

Carpet World: Not Sports World.

Boater's World: Not Sports World.

 We also spotted the coolest vehicle in the whole (not sports) world!

Baskin Robins "Traffic Scoop Coupe"

Car Trouble

 One of my past roommates had an ape of a boyfriend. Let's call him "Dude." He kinda looks like this:

Aside from being an orangutan, this drawing doesn't really
apply to him. I really drew it for something else. It's still funny.

He didn't live in town so it meant that he was here at least every other weekend visiting and would sit around in her room while she was at work. He didn't really bother me, but it was annoying to know he was in my apartment and she wasn't. Since she and I weren't on speaking terms, I didn't talk to him either. Plus he was pretty much as dumb as she is.

Yeah, I'm sure it's possible that the cable company is running a special and that we can get digital cable with HBO and internet for a flat $20... Right. Couldn't be that he was confused about it or anything.

Anyway. One day in the spring of 2010, when I was thoroughly enjoying the sun from my palcony.

Palcony: Patio that's 2" off the ground, requiring a railing as if it were a balcony.

Dude walked out of the apartment building. 

He was always wearing Penn State warm-ups for some reason, as if he didn't own other clothes.

He went to the parking lot and returned minutes later. I already knew what had happened. I knew that they had been using a doctored visitor's parking pass in his car and the towing company had finally come around when he was here. With out having to ask I knew his car had been towed.

He doesn't really have a unibrow, but he may as well.

 So as he was walking back to the apartment I called to him from the palcony.

I knew that he was going to expect me to take him to get his car so I figured I might as well get the question out of the way.

He said that he called them and that he was told that he would get a call back from one of the drivers but why don't we just go over now? I had been towed before and I knew why that was not a wise idea.

Because of the animosity between me and roommate, and how she told me that what she didn't like about me was my "smarter than everyone" attitude, I decided to bite my tongue and oblige and he would have to find out about his wrongness when we got there and then had to either come back or wait there.

I interrupted my tanning, went in to put some more clothes on, and we headed out to my car.

On the way, he got a phone call.

Guess who was right. It took all the self control I could muster to not say "I told you so." In retrospect, I should have and I should have thrown in a little "told you so" dance.

He deserved it for being so frickin' ignorant.

We returned to my apartment and chatted awkwardly until he got another call from the tow truck driver.

I was glad the call came so quickly and I drove him over to the towing place and then I was able to get away from him.

When they got back I asked about the pass and he STILL insisted that it was a valid parking pass. Months later I get yelled at for not offering him one of the much better passes I had that actually looked like they were supposed to be for the date they had on them... I made the "1" for January into an "11" for November. I know, I'm a genius.

The best part about the whole situation was how Dude kept insisting through the whole debacle that the pass in his car was completely valid. In fact, because I had investigated it previous to the towing, they had poorly Sharpied over the original date with a new one and faced it in so that it was less obvious that it was so crappy looking. On the side facing out they had written his phone number so that, in theory, the tow-er would call them instead of towing him...? Don't quite understand that logic, but they are morons.

They're still together and engaged. I fear for the next generation.

It's so hard to find Seinfeld clips that don't have the embedding disabled. :(

Oh, Cosmo... They're towing your car!