December 11, 2018

That Time My Childhood Was Ruined by Celeste Pizza...

You wouldn't think that a $.99 pizza would be able to ruin my childhood, but it's true.

I was at the grocery store, late at night trying to find a snack for Husband that wasn't expensive and used minimal plastic. I spotted the Celeste Pizzas and told Husband to get one.

HE HAD NEVER HAD ONE. I was shocked. Maybe it was not that common of a food, but I had a ton of these when I was growing up because they're cheap and, frankly, delicious...

What sorcery is this that I can put my pizza on a silvery paper disc, put it in the microwave, and in three minutes, have a crispy, delicious pizza?!

Well, joke was on me. I told Husband to put the pizza on the disc and he said "there isn't one." I didn't believe him. I looked in the box and under the pizza in the plastic wrapper.

Husband looked at the box and it said, "microwave disk no longer required."

I looked at the pizza and it was also not nice-and-thin as I remember these pizzas to be. It was thick and stupid.
It also had about half as much cheese as it was supposed to have. 

I did not have high hopes, but we put it on a plate and microwaved it. Then we put it on a baking sheet in the oven and cooked it for 5 more minutes so that it woudn't be soggy.

Just. Terrible. Go ahead. Scroll back up to the photo of the box. The cheesy goodness is a LIE.

I'm not crazy, right? They used to be good, right? You know, for a cheap pizza that cooks in the microwave in 3 minutes...

I tasted it. Even though it looked disgusting. You know, for science.

It. Was. So. Bad. It tasted like every crappy cafeteria pizza in the whole world. Reading the ingredients, they must have started cheaping out. A pizza should not have so many any chemical ingredients.
Note the "Imitation Mozzarella Blend" 1/2 way down.
Still a mystery as to where the microwave disk went. My theory is that's why they made the crust so thick: so it could be microwaved and not fall apart. So bad.


  1. They stopped supplying the disc about a year ago. In addition years ago the pizza was as large as a dinner plate now it's half the size with very little cheese. I keep one in the freezer for emergency because I don't cook. I have to find a new pizza.

    1. If you have a toaster oven and Ellio's pizzas anywhere near where you live. Those are great cheap substitutes sure it takes some preheating and about 15ish minutes cook time. But it's a good replacement. There are no more decent cheep frozen microwavable pizzas anymore.

    2. After the Celeste fail, I had Husband try Ellios. Somehow he'd never heard of it, whereas I grew up with it. He loves it more than anyone should. And he knows what GOOD pizza is.

  2. You are sooo right. Just bought my last Celeste pizza. Without the pizza disc I will no longer buy this product. Another example of corporate greed

  3. I thought I was the only one who realized there was no more crispy disk....... Celeste Pizza is terrible now.....worst thing they could have done is get rid of I have now gotten rid of Celeste.

    1. I always wondered whatever happened to the silver discs and all the cheese. Now I know they took it all out on purpose, which sucks. Now I gotta put the pizza on some paper towels so it doesn't get soggy. What a waste of my towels to be honest

  4. I feel you. I recently bought one on a whim to relive my childhood and was shocked. Luckily I have some experience improvising. What I did was cooked it to the directions in the microwave, then I added to the cooked and soggy pizza real pre-grated mozarella cheese that I had bought for another purpose. Then I put it in a toaster oven and heated it on medium on the toast setting (like toasting bread); once done, all my added cheese melted, and the crust had some crisp to it. I paid $1.25 for the pizza, but I'd gladly pay twice as much if only they'd make it how they did 10 years ago.

  5. We need the Micro Disc. Celeste Pizza now Sucks to Eat. But the cost is USD 99 Cents. Give Me the Crisper Disc and I will Pay USD $1.50 for One. Pizza is now Soggy, and Pasty, It REALLY Sucks. Give us Disc Back PLEASE.

  6. I only bought celeste pizza because it was on sale for 50 cents each at my local "Grocery Outlet". I was also surprised by the lack of the disk that would crisp the bottom. The other thing surprising was the lack of cheese compared to before, it was so lacking I thought it was a manufacturing defect and probably why it was sold for cheap. But I guess others are seeing the lack of cheese as well. Just cost cutting measures to counter HIGH INFLATION these days. I wouldn't pay 99 cents but for 50 cents, I wouldn't mind filling some of my freezer chest with these as a cheap snack.