May 27, 2011

Car Trouble

 One of my past roommates had an ape of a boyfriend. Let's call him "Dude." He kinda looks like this:
Aside from being an orangutan, this drawing doesn't really
apply to him. I really drew it for something else. It's still funny.

He didn't live in town so it meant that he was here at least every other weekend visiting and would sit around in her room while she was at work. He didn't really bother me, but it was annoying to know he was in my apartment and she wasn't. Since she and I weren't on speaking terms, I didn't talk to him either. Plus he was pretty much as dumb as she is.

Yeah, I'm sure it's possible that the cable company is running a special and that we can get digital cable with HBO and internet for a flat $20... Right. Couldn't be that he was confused about it or anything.

Anyway. One day in the spring of 2010, when I was thoroughly enjoying the sun from my palcony.
Palcony: Patio that's 2" off the ground, requiring a railing as if it were a balcony.

Dude walked out of the apartment building. 
He was always wearing Penn State warm-ups for some reason, as if he didn't own other clothes.

He went to the parking lot and returned minutes later. I already knew what had happened. I knew that they had been using a doctored visitor's parking pass in his car and the towing company had finally come around when he was here. With out having to ask I knew his car had been towed.
He doesn't really have a unibrow, but he may as well.

 So as he was walking back to the apartment I called to him from the palcony.
I knew that he was going to expect me to take him to get his car so I figured I might as well get the question out of the way.

He said that he called them and that he was told that he would get a call back from one of the drivers but why don't we just go over now? I had been towed before and I knew why that was not a wise idea.
Because of the animosity between me and roommate, and how she told me that what she didn't like about me was my "smarter than everyone" attitude, I decided to bite my tongue and oblige and he would have to find out about his wrongness when we got there and then had to either come back or wait there.

I interrupted my tanning, went in to put some more clothes on, and we headed out to my car.
On the way, he got a phone call.
Guess who was right. It took all the self control I could muster to not say "I told you so." In retrospect, I should have and I should have thrown in a little "told you so" dance.

He deserved it for being so frickin' ignorant.

We returned to my apartment and chatted awkwardly until he got another call from the tow truck driver.

I was glad the call came so quickly and I drove him over to the towing place and then I was able to get away from him.

When they got back I asked about the pass and he STILL insisted that it was a valid parking pass. Months later I get yelled at for not offering him one of the much better passes I had that actually looked like they were supposed to be for the date they had on them... I made the "1" for January into an "11" for November. I know, I'm a genius.

The best part about the whole situation was how Dude kept insisting through the whole debacle that the pass in his car was completely valid. In fact, because I had investigated it previous to the towing, they had poorly Sharpied over the original date with a new one and faced it in so that it was less obvious that it was so crappy looking. On the side facing out they had written his phone number so that, in theory, the tow-er would call them instead of towing him...? Don't quite understand that logic, but they are morons.

They're still together and engaged. I fear for the next generation.

It's so hard to find Seinfeld clips that don't have the embedding disabled. :(
Oh, Cosmo... They're towing your car!


  1. I'm thinking people like that shouldn't be allowed to breed, thus dumbing down the overall population.

    Poor guy. Rule #1 with tow truck drivers is do NOT argue with them. They have a way of increasing their rates when they don't like you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

    Silly Dude.

  2. I like how the sentence about the phone number ended like a question. *sigh* I'm really sorry about all of your roommate experiences, I only ever once lived away from home and *I* was the crappy roommate. Also, I'm jealous of the palcony. I would do so much entertaining in such a space.

  3. Oh my gosh your drawings always crack me up! The tracksuit and unibrow were awesome! And I love that you have a palcony!

  4. LOL! I love your drawings, they're awesome. And the whole incident too.

    Hope you've had a lovely weekend.