February 12, 2011

That Time I Got Pulled Over...

Everyone has bad things to say about New Jersey. I disagree with most of them having come from one of the many nice parts. I do know that there are bad parts like Camden and Newark which are no-so-nice. It's the places like that which give Jersey a bad name. That and our dirty beaches due to New York dumping garbage into the ocean. But that's besides the point....
I was still in high school. And it was the first time I was driving myself to a concert out of town. It was kind of surreal actually since my parents never liked to let me do things that were fun. And driving to south Jersey with one of my guy friends they'd never even met seemed like something they would have a problem with. But I asked and they said "sure, why not!?!" Except probably less excited.

We bought the tickets, I printed map-quest directions and we were on our way!
Yes I know it looks like I'm by myself in the car and it's steering itself, just go with it.
We made it there with no problems and had a great time. Actually, now that I think about it I didn't have the best mosh pit experience because we were against a wall which must have been coated with stucco or whatever you call that lumpy, jagged stuff they put on walls. And what happened is that the crowd would surge back and I would get pushed into the wall and scratch the hell out of my bare shoulders and arms. Other than that tho, it was an awesome show and tons of fun.
WOO! Fun!
We left having had great fun and were confident that we would have no problems getting back. And we wouldn't have. If not for a) Poorly planned highways and 2) my lack of observational skills. It was dark ok? So the street system.
Someone thought it would be a great idea, when exiting the Garden State Parkway onto I-78, to not have an exit that takes you west bound. So what you have to do if you want to go west is take the one exit, go east for a mile, exit into whatever super sketchy town it is, and then get back on 78 going the other way. I did already know about this fun little trick they play on you. My parents warned me the first time I was to encounter it when I went to Six-Flags the year before. Though that time, there was still some daylight when I got all messed up.
I was warned again before I left for the concert. I successfully take the exit off 78 and follow the sign that says "78 west that way!" I then looked for more signs that said "now go with me." Point "A" above, denotes where I was supposed to turn to go the right way. Now the sign must be hidden by some shrubbery or tree out of the Mesozoic because I didn't see it this time either. Last time I turned down some street and drove until I saw a "78 this way"  sign, and apparantly used a different on ramp (that one all the way in the upper right hand corner)  and that's why I was looking for one of this time. Point "B" was where I did a K-turn, right in front of a cop car (whoops) so I could find the turn. I, again didn't see any sign telling me to turn so I drove right by point "A" again and kept going straight. Then I saw that the cop car was behind me still. I turned down a street somewhere near point "C" and that's when the lights come on. "Fuck! What the hell? I'm already lost and confused and now I'm getting pulled over?? FUCKKKK!" The Cop walks up and I tell him "I know I wasn't speeding, I'm just lost!"
HAHAHA I just want to get home :) !!!
I thought it was the K-turn and then the slow driving, and the other turn and he was trying to be helpful. Oh no-no-no-no-no.

Cop: What are you doing here?
Me: I'm coming home from a concert and coudn't find the 78 west ramp...
Cop: What concert?
Me: [mind goes blank, I look at Jeff] Uhhh
Jeff: Catch 22...
Me: Yeah, what he said!
Cop: Are you sure you're not here buying drugs?

Me: What? Um, no? Why would I be buying drugs?

He of course doesn't know that I've never so much as smoked a cigarette, drank, nothing.

Cop: Because when a couple of white kids are in this town, they're here to buy drugs.


Me: I've never bought drugs EVER, I'm just lost. 
Cop: Are you sure. 
Me: Yeah?
Cop: Well I'm gonna take your license and just check this out.
Me: Ok?

Yeah, so I'm completely freaking out now. It's getting late. My parents are expecting me back soon. And this cop is running my license to see if I have any priors.

Holy fuck-balls I couldn't make this shit up. Oh and yes he racially profiled me for being white. That one I kind of found funny because of the irony. What I did not find funny was potentially being arrested on suspicion since this dude clearly didn't believe me. He returns with my shit.

Cop: Ok, well you seem to be clean.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Cop: Are you sure you're not here buying drugs? 
Me: What? No! Do you want to see our concert ticket? [I hold them up for him]
Cop: Uh, no that's ok. Alright, I'll show you the way back to the highway.

I guess he thought that if he asked me enough times I would be like "actually, yes! I am here to buy drugs! Please arrest me!" I'm also pretty sure that he wasn't convinced that I was telling the truth.

I got back on 78, called my parents to inform them that I was on my way and that I ended up got getting arrested, and then didn't stop for anything. 


  1. LOL THATS HILARIOUS! I feel like if I were you I probably would have been crying. But it's so funny! Geez. You can't make stuff like that up. Wow. I'm sorry you got pulled over for "buying drugs", but it made my morning MUCH brighter. Thank you!

  2. That's the first time I've ever heard of someone being pulled over for DWW.

  3. I was surprised that I didn't start crying. The whole thing was just too ridiculous I guess.

  4. Liked the post. I've only ever been pulled over once...for making a "California stop" (where you just kinda slide on through stop signs). Anyways, I got off with a warning. Yay!

    New follower.


  5. I once got pulled over for that too but I think the cop was just hoping I had been drinking and once it was apparent I hadn't been he just let me go.

  6. Hahahahaha! I love that mentality of just repeat stuff over and over till someone confesses to something they didn't do. I once had an immigration interview where the really uptight dude interviewing me kept saying "How many kids do you have?" I said "None." Two minutes later he asked me again. I said "I HAVE NO KIDS". He asked about five times in all. Like one of those times I'd suddenly go, "Oh, okay, I have five kids, you got me." WTF? :)

  7. Oh wow. I've been pulled over thrice - once for a broken tail light where my red duct tape had fallen off, once for when an officer mistyped my plate and thought I had an unregistered car/license, and once when my husband and I were driving through Arizona on the Fourth of July at night by a Navajo cop with a K-9 unit saying that I wasn't merging back over to the right and that I wasn't supposed to have the GPS mounted on the window......we think he thought we were running drugs.

    I feel your pain.

  8. This is my favorite post so far. I love how he was like, third times a charm. Honestly, are you here to buy drugs?!

  9. @VeggieKiller: Yeah my dentist did that to me once and I couldn't tell if he was absent minded or if he didn't believe me.

    @Lindsay: I once repaired my car with white duct tape. Colored duct tape is awesome.

    @Erin: I know, I think he was just really disappointed to not get to make an arrest.

  10. My most ridiculous ticket was when a cop pulled me over at 2-3am on my way home from work- a whole 3 miles- because I was above the speed limit. I pulled to the left (the median) because there was a shoulder and enough room to get out of the car safely, and the road was...pretty much deserted. I got fined $300 for pulling to the wrong side, and $200 for going over the speed limit, even though he had only been "pacing" me, and there is no way I could have gone from 0 to 76 in the amount of time that he could have been following me. My parents theorize that it was because he was the only black cop in town and trying to make a name for himself (I didn't even really care about the racial profiling thing, but whatever.)

  11. @Ashley: Wow now, I never bother to fight my speeding tickets cause even though it sucks, I was always guilty. THAT I would have fought. I mean, he could have just told you to move to the other side on his PA/loud speaker system thingy they have. And w/o radar.... yeah, would have fought that.

  12. Cop: Because when a couple of white kids are in this town, they're here to buy drugs.

    Oh my gosh I was laughing so hard!!!!!

    I once was pulled over (my car full of people) because the cop thought I was drunk. Nope I was just that bad of a driver...I still can't live that one down.

  13. I once got pulled over because I didn't fully stop at a stop sign but I'm pretty sure he just thought I was drinking cause it was late. He didn't even give me a ticket (Not that I wanted him to give me one just to save face).

  14. I have never had that happen, but I did once get pulled over going for a snack. I was just driving along, minding my own business, when I was pulled over at a stop check. Whatever. No big deal. So the cop that I talked to first told me to move over to another area...so I started to. However, when I did that...another cop freaked out, pulled out a flashlight, shone it in my eyes and accused me of being drunk and high. Of course, with a flashlight in my eyes...I probably did look like I was. Eventually, the other cop told him what had happned, and I was allowed to go. Still ridiculous though.